Gluten Freebird

It’s been a busy few weeks for me, partly because I’ve been eating a lot.

Most notably, I stopped into opening day at Ray’s Hell-Burger yesterday, which is just down from Ray’s the Steaks on Wilson Blvd.

I almost don’t want to share it. It was that good.

The burgers are indescribably juicy and flavorful. 10 ounces of char-grilled prime beef, which you can get with the Ray’s the Steaks preparations (au poivre or Diablo, perhaps?). Almost all toppings (charred jalapenos, grilled onions, raw onions, beefsteak tomatoes, sherry-sauteed mushrooms) are free or you can pay extra for applewood-smoked bacon or guacamole.

And if that isn’t good enough, there are cheeses that will blow your mind. Love stinky cheese? Go for Epoisses. You can also go for Amish cheddar, Vermont white cheddar, brie…and on and on.

Each burger comes with corn on the cob and a slice of watermelon. You can also get a root beer float (with Dominion root beer) with up to three scoops of Moorenko’s ice cream.

I ordered my burger without a bun and the toppings all came on the side. It was delicious, but my one little complaint was the lack of a fork. Gluteneer had to run over to Greenberry’s to nab a plastic fork. But with beef that good, I would’ve used my hands.

Updated: Here’s a look at the Gluteneer’s burger plus bun in case you’re looking for bready goodness.

This is a tale of a good treat and a bad treat. Both gluten-free and both from Kinnikinnick, but only one is worth eating.

Let’s start with the loser.

After a particularly raucous solstice party last weekend, I baked up some chocolate chip cookies from a bag of Kinnikinnick mix.

The mix had been hanging in my pantry for a few months, so the post-solstice hangover was the perfect opportunity to crack open an easy-bake mix. “These will surely do the trick,” I thought. But it wasn’t to be.

The cookies had a crumbly texture, but the real problem was the vegetal flavor.

I tried adding orange zest, cinnamon, doubling up on the chocolate chips and adding brown sugar, but the dough still tasted like ground legumes with sugar. Verdict: Make your own. It’s worth a few shakes of the wrist to get a flavor that isn’t beany and distracting.

Now for the good news: Kinnikinnick’s gluten-free Cinnamon-Sugar Donuts are delicious. They’re also dairy- and soy-free.
[Read more →]

I’ve only been navigating the gluten-free life for three months, but it feels like forever. That said, last night was a totally new experience in gluten-free dining.

In the lounge of one of Washington’s best, most highly rated restaurants, I ran into my first case of celiac insensitivity ( I call it Burgergate).

I asked if I could have the restaurant’s lamburger without its bun. The server instead told me that it was served on the bun and I could simply take it off. Perhaps this seemed most logical to the server, but to me it meant a plate full of invasive gluten, showering crumbs every which way.

The server explained that the presentation is important to the kitchen, so things aren’t altered.

When the Gluteneer intervened (”Can’t you go ask the chef to make an exception?”), the server went to check and came back triumphantly announcing that she had “flexed some muscle.”

Now, I don’t think anybody should need muscle to get a good meal, but perhaps I overstep my boundaries.

Pushing these boundaries even further, I offer my Do’s and Don’ts for servers when dealing with food allergies and restrictions.

Do be my advocate. A gluten allergy is tough. Please do me the favor of asking the kitchen for substitutions and alterations.

Do ask questions. I am happy to explain what I can and cannot eat. Better safe than sorry will save us all some headache.

Do make recommendations. If you know that gluten-free diners do well with a particular dish or risk a reaction to another one, let me know.

Don’t get snarky. There’s a time and a place. It likely isn’t over my dinner plate. Yes, I wish that celiac was funny business.

Don’t make me feel like a burden. If you needed to tackle the chef to get me a bunless burger, take it to management. I already hate to impose and rearrange the chef’s artful compositions.

Don’t make assumptions. If I ask for dressing on the side, it could be that I want to lose that extra pesky bulge, but it could also be that I don’t want a flour-based salad poisoner. Please take my requests at face value.

This week had some good highs and a few plunging lows. I usually only like to write up my favorites, but there were some real whoppers this week.

Let’s start with the good news:

I had a standout dish at the new Thirsty Bernie’s in Arlington. At the corner of Glebe and Lee Hwy, the self-proclaimed “Sports Bar and Grill” is really a gourmet sausage house in disguise. It comes to us courtesy of Jamie Stachowski, formerly of Restaurant Kolumbia. He was known for charcuterie and now offers Kielbasa, house-cured Pastrami, and Beef on Weck all under the glow of 15 plasma TVs. The restaurant is still working out substantial kinks, but the wings were a highlight. You don’t just order wings. You order mild, medium, hot, or grilled with bbq sauce. I opted for the grilled and was treated to nice char, fruity sauce and one of my best tastes of the week.

I also enjoyed a few good dishes at Indebleu, though the service did its best to distract me. The Halibut, poached in coconut milk and served with preserved lemon, spinach and black truffle, was delicate, aromatic and flavorful without letting the coconut overwhelm the fish. If you can eat gluten, “Spaghetti and Meatballs” were darling. The spaghetti was saffron ice cream mashed through a ricer, while meatballs were gulab jamun donuts (inedible to the glutenless). If only it hadn’t taken an hour to get our appetizers… [Read more →]

Friday night was the perfect night for a baseball game - my first trip to Nationals’ stadium. It was a long night: a 14-inning game against the Rangers that ended with a rare win by the Nats.

I had stuffed my purse with trail mix, bars and snacks to get me through, but happily I needed none of it. The Gluteneer pointed out a booze stand where I could get my beer-free fill and I didn’t even need that.

The stadium features lots of local merchants (Ben’s Chili Bowl, Boardwalk Fries, Gifford’s Ice Cream, and Red, Hot & Blue) as well as some terribly named generic spots. (Who would possibly want a Senators Sausage in this post-Larry Craig world? And there’s something sketchy about Pentagon Pizza. Does it come with 5 sides?)

The highlight, by far, was Noah’s Pretzels. It’s the best gluten-free stadium dining in the country. No more having to dust crumbs off a limp hot dog or suffer through stale nachos.

The pretzel company, which promotes autism awareness, sells gluten-free pretzels. They’re served in a sealed, tamper-proof bag to keep them away from contaminants. The pretzels wouldn’t otherwise change my life, but at a baseball game? Mine was delicious with a hearty dose of mustard. Also, they’re shaped in a big Nats W.

Sadly, they don’t have gluten-free pretzel dogs, but they serve Hebrew Nationals that aren’t already wrapped in buns (like at every other hot dog stand), so you can buy a pretzel and a wiener and get creative. [Read more →]

I went through a phase of my life — known mostly as the great melt - where I didn’t eat ice cream every day. Thankfully, that time is well in my past. I love ice cream. Yes, I’ll scream for it. I used to love cookie dough most, though now I can only eat the Purely Decadent version.

So imagine my joy when I saw several new gluten-free flavors of Purely Decadent at the market the other day. Turtle Mountain, the company behind Soy Delicious and Purely Decadent, has come out with several new initiatives, including coconut milk ice creams.

I opted for two cookie-dough laced choices, Snickerdoodle and Blueberry Cheesecake. [Read more →]

This week, I dropped by DC Coast for its 10th anniversary. The celebration included dishes from the start of the restaurant (grilled pork chop with sweet potatoes and cane syrup) and future dishes (lobster rolls). My favorite was a fabulous Pipe Dreams goat cheesecake.

Blue Duck Tavern impresses me on so many levels. It’s got a beautiful, sleek, open design (a rare find in D.C.) and good, clean food that lists its source next to the menu. The menu is pretty seasonal, which is good (in spring and summer) and sometimes less than thrilling (lots of winter root vegetables). I loved the white spring asparagus with green almonds, which gave crunch and a nice buttery flavor. I am an asparagus maniac (um, did you see my fajita recipe?), so it hit the spot on a menu that also included slow-cooked leg of lamb, a foie gras dish with crushed strawberries and morels.

My wine-loving side shone brightly at Cork. I have some qualms with the restaurant (does everything have to involve bread?), but the food is really delicious. There was a spring pea soup, the eternal favorite chicken liver and rosemary pate (spread on my favorite GF crackers) and some avocado with pistachios on grilled bread. I had to pick it off the bread, but the lesson is that salty nuts + avocado = delicious (fatty, but delicious).